We’ve all been there.
Someone has done or said something to leave you feeling angry, frustrated, hurt and made your blood boil. Pain is a difficult emotion to shake off, especially if you feel deeply. And, the closer you are to the people involved, the worse is it.
It’s under these circumstances that we feel the need to protect ourselves. Some do this by creating a barrier to stop people from getting in. Others… want to hit back and get even. And that desire is perfectly normal.
There’s not such thing as absolute good and even the best leaders get angry. But, that doesn’t mean that they spend countless hours trying to equal the scales by getting even. Whilst getting your own seems appealing, there’s a greater price to pay.
So, here’s why it’s OK to get mad…but not get even…
Holding on stops you from moving forward. You could spend hours, days, weeks or months scheming behind closed doors. Now just imagine what you could have achieved with all of this time?! By channeling all of your energy into payback, you loose countless moments of productivity and this is time that you can’t get back. It’s impossible to move forward and work towards the path that you’re meant to be on if your mind is plagued with following a revenge plan. It could stop you from finding your calling altogether.
The extra baggage is weighing you down. How heavy is a glass of water? Normally 5-6 oz? Really, the weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you choose to hold it. If you hold onto it for a minute – no problem. Hold it for an hour – your arm is sore. Hold it for a day and you’ll probably strain a muscle. And the principal is no different with anger, stress and anxiety. The longer you hold on, the more it hurts you.
Good news: nothing lasts forever. Regardless of how much pain you’re feeling right now, it will pass. Remember that the only constant in life is change. But in order to move forward, you have to let go.
Focus on self-awareness and managing your emotions. Your initial reaction is rarely the issue. You can talk it out, vent and maybe momentarily lose your cool. But remember that staying in that state of mind is a choice. Once you become aware of yourself and can anticipate your own reaction, it is much easier to decide when it’s time to let go and move on.
Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiving others can be incredibly liberating and it shows strength of character. But it’s down to you to decide whether that person needs to have a space in your life. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with forgiving a person and choosing to let go of the relationship.
Whilst experiencing pain is inevitable, all reactions are a choice. Sometimes, the worst pain can be turned into the greatest trial for us to overcome and make us better, more well rounded, people. Remember, you can either be your own hero or worst enemy. When you’re in a situation that has left you feeling hurt… make the decision that is best for you.